With Qingming Festival (tomb sweeping day) around the corner, I’d like to share this original story about one of the common practices during Qingming:
There would be an extended hold on my cash deposit. I wasn’t happy with it.
“Is it because my death certificate is expiring? I’m getting my renewed one on Thursday,” I asked. The teller didn’t look happy either. Her crystal ball got smashed last Tuesday and the bank still had not sent her a new one.
She still gave me a smile that was only slightly colder than usual.
“No. Not that. It’s actually for your protection, as inconvenient as it is,” she said, handing me the receipt. “The exchange rate is fluctuating too much. The bank will pick the best rate during the hold time period to minimize your loss.”
I glared at my receipt and saw something new: “Spirit Amount Deposited: $100,000.00; USD Amount Deposited: $50.00; Spirit Amount Available: $0.00; USD Amount Available: $0.00; Hold Time: 7 Earth Days.”
I did’t understand.
“Is it because of the inflation? The gas price soar?” I vaguely recalled that our currency should not be affected by all that.
The teller shook her head.
“I wish it’s that simple, Mr. Xu,” she pressed something on her keyboard. “I will just be honest with you on this one. The bank now has to link the value of your funds with the LOGS of the person who sent you the money, especially if it’s sent through the cash burning system.”
Man, I hated acronyms!
“What’s logs?”
“Sorry. I should have explained it. It’s just that it’s still a working process of naming this so it doesn’t stand for anything official,” she lowered her voice. “It’s L, O, G, S: Level of Giving a Shit.”
Oh I see…
“So I assume since it’s been five years, my family’s level of giving a shit about me has experienced a significant decline,” I said. No surprise to me. A bit annoying to actually think about it and say it out loud. “Then what difference will 7 days make? Will their logs change dramatically during 7 days after all these years?”
She nodded, reminding me of my elementary school teacher when I answered a question right. Man, that was so long ago I lost count.
“Yep! Normally during the following week, sometimes longer, the sender might experience stronger feelings towards their late relatives, particularly if they wish to be blessed.”
That actually made a lot of sense. I did get summoned in their dreams a lot more often during the Ghost Month of the year. Those heartless useless brats!
“You can now monitor the exchange rate and corresponding value of your deposit using online banking or our mobile app.”
That’s actually pretty nice. I thanked her for all the information and helping me set up that online thing about a year ago. It was funny that they had been trying for years when I was alive. Persistence could be rewarding.
As I walked out of the bank, a stack of ghost money appeared in my hands. Meanwhile, I heard my 59 year old son crying for my blessing in his job hunting.
I shook my head and headed towards the ATM.
What could his dead old man do to help him land a job in the living world? Perhaps if his LOGS went high enough, I could use that to pull some strings once the funds cleared.
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For more original strange stories please check out Bleeding Money and 26 More Strange Tales
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