Category: Uncategorized

An Extended Cash Hold

With Qingming Festival (tomb sweeping day) around the corner, I’d like to share this original story about one of the common practices during Qingming:

There would be an extended hold on my cash deposit. I wasn’t happy with it.

“Is it because my death certificate is expiring? I’m getting my renewed one on Thursday,” I asked. The teller didn’t look happy either. Her crystal ball got smashed last Tuesday and the bank still had not sent her a new one. 

She still gave me a smile that was only slightly colder than usual. 

“No. Not that. It’s actually for your protection, as inconvenient as it is,” she said, handing me the receipt. “The exchange rate is fluctuating too much. The bank will pick the best rate during the hold time period to minimize your loss.”

I glared at my receipt and saw something new: “Spirit Amount Deposited: $100,000.00; USD Amount Deposited: $50.00; Spirit Amount Available: $0.00; USD Amount Available: $0.00; Hold Time: 7 Earth Days.”

I did’t understand.

“Is it because of the inflation? The gas price soar?” I vaguely recalled that our currency should not be affected by all that.

The teller shook her head. 

“I wish it’s that simple, Mr. Xu,” she pressed something on her keyboard. “I will just be honest with you on this one. The bank now has to link the value of your funds with the LOGS of the person who sent you the money, especially if it’s sent through the cash burning system.”

Man, I hated acronyms!

“What’s logs?” 

“Sorry. I should have explained it. It’s just that it’s still a working process of naming this so it doesn’t stand for anything official,” she lowered her voice. “It’s L, O, G, S: Level of Giving a Shit.”

Oh I see…

“So I assume since it’s been five years, my family’s level of giving a shit about me has experienced a significant decline,” I said. No surprise to me. A bit annoying to actually think about it and say it out loud. “Then what difference will 7 days make? Will their logs change dramatically during 7 days after all these years?”

She nodded, reminding me of my elementary school teacher when I answered a question right. Man, that was so long ago I lost count.

“Yep! Normally during the following week, sometimes longer, the sender might experience stronger feelings towards their late relatives, particularly if they wish to be blessed.”

That actually made a lot of sense. I did get summoned in their dreams a lot more often during the Ghost Month of the year. Those heartless useless brats!

“You can now monitor the exchange rate and corresponding value of your deposit using online banking or our mobile app.”

That’s actually pretty nice. I thanked her for all the information and helping me set up that online thing about a year ago. It was funny that they had been trying for years when I was alive. Persistence could be rewarding.

As I walked out of the bank, a stack of ghost money appeared in my hands. Meanwhile, I heard my 59 year old son crying for my blessing in his job hunting. 

I shook my head and headed towards the ATM. 

What could his dead old man do to help him land a job in the living world? Perhaps if his LOGS went high enough, I could use that to pull some strings once the funds cleared. 

____________________________________________

For more original strange stories please check out Bleeding Money and 26 More Strange Tales

A Father’s Imposter

Today I want to share a sad story from Ban Bao’s In Search of the Supernatural , which will probably appear in my next book:

In the Jin dynasty1, a man in Wuxing, Zhejiang Province had two sons. Whenever they worked in the field, the two young men often saw their dad come to yell at them. He sometimes even smacked them and shooed them away. 

The sons at last told their mother, who later asked the father about it. The father was shocked. Knowing it wasn’t him, he wondered if some kind of monster took his form. He told his sons if the fake father showed himself again, they shall hit it with an axe.

Ever since then, the thing stopped showing up. One day, the father, worried that his sons would be bewildered by the evil monster, went to the field to check on them. The sons, mistaking him for the imposter, attacked and killed him. They then buried the body and went home.

The imposter later went to their home in the father’s form and told the family that his boys had already taken care of the evil monster. When the sons returned, the whole family celebrated.

Years had passed without anyone noticing anything unusual.

One day, a sorcerer travelled by the family and told the two young men that he noticed the father had strong evil vibes around him. 

The sons went to tell the father, who got outrageous. The sons then came out to warn the sorcerer and told him to leave. Instead, the sorcerer entered the house while casting some spells. 

The father instantly transformed into an old fox. The fox went under the bed but still got caught and killed. 

The brothers then realized that the one they’d killed in the field was their real father.

They reburied their father and gave him a proper funeral.

Soon after that, one of the sons killed himself. The other, suffering from regret and anger, also passed away before long.

–From Gan Bao’s In Search of the Supernatural (The Jin Dynasty)

1. The Jin Dynasty (266–420). It’s a little strange for the author to refer to their own dynasty in this way. Perhaps this story was said to have happened in the Western Jin (266-316) whereas Gan Bao (315-336) lived in the Eastern Jin.

p.s. For more translated ancient Chinese strange tales or zhiguai stories, please check out my book: Head Flyer and 100 More Ancient Chinese Strange Stories, which is free for Kindle Unlimited members. For non members, you can still get a free sample which contains 11 stories.

Head Flyer

Head flyers and head droppers are humans with special abilities to let their head leave their body and fly around. Mostly at night, according to numerous ancient Chinese stories and essays. I translated two of the stories and included them in my book Head Flyer and 100 More Ancient Chinese Strange Stories. It’s free for Kindle Unlimited users. Non users can also get a sample which includes 11 stories if I counted it right.

I will resume updating on this site with more stories and interesting facts about ancient Chinese stories, Chinese history, and folklore in general, since I found out I’ve been paying for it.

Thank you for reading and welcome to check out the book!